The eyes of the soul of the multitudes are unable to endure the vision of the divine. ~Plato
Where to begin… I thank the countless of messages sent to my site and my email & I assure you that I do have so much to say…those who know me best; know I’d rather sit in silence than to inflict my own negativity to those around me. So, the past couple of weeks; I chose to take that seat at the back of the room with little to no light. Trying not to ruffle any feathers or bring unwanted attention.
The truth is that; there are times in our lives that we just have to accept things for what they are. In that same token; it the same rule of thumb applies to people. The less I expect from people; the less likely I’d be let down. So, with this in mind; taking the bitter with the sweet does give life more substance.
I know, I like to discuss things which bring positive vibes…sharing those smiles… but in reality; there is a side of me that is ….detached, so to speak. The routine of life takes effect and I’ve mastered the routine with a smile. Internally, it can be the simplest thing to remind me how fragile a smile truly is. Is is genuine? Is it meant with sincerity?
These are the questions that I ask myself these days. It’s a shame when you have to question the motives of those around you … but, what do we do? Sure we can shun them out…make them take a step away…close the door… but, what does that bring??
It will be the next wave of individuals who will undoubtedly let you down. So, what do we do about this cycle? Well, speaking for myself; I just refuse to allow anyone too close…Naturally, I don’t mean to be this way and I don’t want to …but it’s safer. Losing a friend of 8 years is tough. It felt like a separation from a spouse.
People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.
However, closing that chapter was greatly needed. You can’t help someone who does not want to help themselves. True friends will understand the word “no” and should make an effort to understand that is always given with sincerity. As grown individuals, we should be trying to help each other grow to be the best us.
So, after a long drawn out self-reflecting process; I’ve decided to only have those that bring the best of me out as friends.. the rest can fall into acquaintances mode…and in some cases; leap off that ledge of goodbye!
So… to all my lovely readers; I will begin to post daily again… maybe several times a day… I just need to find my muse… my inspiration again….And I assure you; I will catch up and read your blogs soon!! I’m excited about that part! I can’t help but feel like a kid in a cookie jar! 🙂
Rustling leaves dance with a boisterous breeze…bringing those playful, candied memories.
To the sky my arms fly…stretched wide just like the Cardenal’s flight…
Twirling , splashing, my heart basking in your memory’s delight…
My soul cries every night…wishing for one more day to hold you tight…
To rock you slowly,
To kiss your brow,
To stroke your cheek,
To whisper how much you mean to me…
To see you grin the moment I begin,
To sing your sweet love song as I tuck you in…
But I do enjoy these day’s…
When the world seems to fade,
Your sweet hellos through the suns flowers ,
Your sweet kisses from the winds gentle trace…
My heart will continue to yearn for you until we meet in that special place….
This poem is a bit personal for me… You see back in 2002; my little girl was taken home to heaven. I miss her dearly and it is only now , so many years later that I can say I enjoy the memories I have… This is in reference to a moment in time, when she was watching a cardinal outside the window…he was tip toeing along the grass. I took her outside and of course he flew…she looked up and raised her hands from her crawl … Seeing her on her knees reaching so high is always going to be engraved in my heart. The joy she expressed through her beautiful eyes…no words will ever do to describe the flutter a parents heart endures when they witness a vision of the purity of awe and wonder.
It began to drizzle and she looked to her palms with eyes of wondrous exploration. Naturally I wanted to rush her in; but I sat there on the grass frozen. As the rain quickened , she laughed so beautifully. As I write this … I can hear her song imploding from within my heart. I can’t help but giggle myself. We sat there and we played…I knew we were on borrowed time and as her mother; I wanted to giver her everything …to see her smile, learn…grow. I never told anyone this memory. It was our moment… It is special. But something compelled me to share this evening. As you all know… I write according to what has moved my heart at the time… So, I leave you with a personal request….
“Remember to share love; invoke smiles; laugh with the joy of life but more importantly… Rest in the moment. They become the sweet ledger of a life beautifully lived ” JennM
En la oscuridad más espesa, he estado esperando Un vistazo de la luz,
Una ardiente concepción de tu dulce beso, Un dulce recuerdo de lo que he perdido …
Give me a kiss,
My one true weakness… My muse,
For the life of desires,
The star beyond my reach,
A light that shines so bright…
No voice of sweet nothings,
Wishful songs of a love so rich,
So full of life…
In thickest of dark, I’ve been waiting for
A glimpse of light,
A burning conception of your sweet kiss,
A sweet remembrance of what I have missed…
"He brought me to his banquet hall and raised the banner of love over me. Restore my strength with raisins and refresh me with apples! I am weak from passion... His left hand is under my head and his right hand caresses me" - Song of Solomon 2:4-6