Closing the Chapter

 

reflection-photography-50
Picture Credit: Pinterest 

 

The eyes of the soul of the multitudes are unable to endure the vision of the divine. ~Plato

Where to begin… I thank the countless of messages sent to my site and my email & I assure you that I do have so much to say…those who know me best; know I’d rather sit in silence than to inflict my own negativity to those around me. So, the past couple of weeks; I chose to take that seat at the back of the room with little to no light. Trying not to ruffle any feathers or bring unwanted attention.

The truth is that; there are times in our lives that we just have to accept things for what they are. In that same token; it the same rule of thumb applies to people. The less I expect from people; the less likely I’d be let down. So, with this in mind; taking the bitter with the sweet does give life more substance.

I know, I like to discuss things which bring positive vibes…sharing those smiles… but in reality; there is a side of me that is ….detached, so to speak. The routine of life takes effect and I’ve mastered the routine with a smile. Internally, it can be the simplest thing to remind me how fragile a smile truly is.  Is is genuine? Is it meant with sincerity?

These are the questions that I ask myself these days. It’s a shame when you have to question the motives of those around you … but, what do we do? Sure we can shun them out…make them take a step away…close the door… but, what does that bring??

It will be the next wave of individuals who will undoubtedly let you down. So, what do we do about this cycle? Well, speaking for myself; I just refuse to allow anyone too close…Naturally, I don’t mean to be this way and I don’t want to …but it’s safer. Losing a friend of 8 years is tough. It felt like a separation from a spouse.

 

 

Seed
Family Tree by Johannus Boots

 

People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.

~ Plato

However, closing that chapter was greatly needed. You can’t help someone who does not want to help themselves. True friends will understand the word “no” and should make an effort to understand that is always given with sincerity. As grown individuals, we should be trying to help each other grow to be the best us.

So, after a long drawn out self-reflecting process; I’ve decided to only have those that bring the best of me out as friends.. the rest can fall into acquaintances mode…and in some cases; leap off that ledge of goodbye!

So… to all my lovely readers; I will begin to post daily again… maybe several times a day… I just need to find my muse… my inspiration again….And I assure you; I will catch up and read your blogs soon!! I’m excited about that part! I can’t help but feel like a kid in a cookie jar! 🙂

Selective Layers 

Blue Rabbit ll ~Lucy by Fabian Perez

Selective Layers 

Walking the walk

Shifting my talk

A devilish laugh I give

You think you know

Deciphering clues I’ve shown

Yet, you only learn what I choose to give

Unless your worthy

Unless my heart shifts

Just stop, your never gonna know this

Don’t sum me up

Don’t put me in a box

You’ll ever keep me trapped with that flimsy little lock

Candied Memories

Picture Supplier: Pinterest


Candied Memories


Cheeks speckle with a moistened graze,

I extend my hand out…to the sky, my palms raise.

A moments pause…do walk or do I haste?

Rustling leaves dance with a boisterous breeze…bringing those playful, candied memories.

To the sky my arms fly…stretched wide just like the Cardenal’s flight…

Twirling , splashing, my heart basking in your memory’s delight…

My soul cries every night…wishing for one more day to hold you tight…

To rock you slowly,

To kiss your brow,

To stroke your cheek,

To whisper how much you mean to me…

To see you grin the moment I begin,

To sing your sweet love song as I tuck you in…

But I do enjoy these day’s…

When the world seems to fade,

Your sweet hellos through the suns flowers ,

Your sweet kisses from the winds gentle trace…

My heart will continue to yearn for you until we meet in that special place….

 

 

Flowers by JennM

 

 

This poem is a bit personal for me… You see back in 2002; my little girl was taken home to heaven. I miss her dearly and it is only now , so many years later that I can say I enjoy the memories I have… This is in reference to a moment in time, when she was watching a cardinal outside the window…he was tip toeing along the grass. I took her outside and of course he flew…she looked up and raised her hands from her crawl … Seeing her on her knees reaching so high is always going to be engraved in my heart. The joy she expressed through her beautiful eyes…no words will ever do to describe the flutter a parents heart endures when they witness a vision of the purity of awe and wonder.

 

 

Droplets by JennM

 

 

It began to drizzle and she looked to her palms with eyes of wondrous exploration. Naturally I wanted to rush her in; but I sat there on the grass frozen. As the rain quickened , she laughed so beautifully. As I write this … I can hear her song imploding from within my heart. I can’t help but giggle myself. We sat there and we played…I knew we were on borrowed time and as her mother; I wanted to giver her everything …to see her smile, learn…grow. I never told anyone this memory. It was our moment… It is special. But something compelled me to share this evening. As you all know… I write according to what has moved my heart at the time… So, I leave you with a personal request….

 

 

“Remember to share love; invoke smiles; laugh with the joy of life but more importantly… Rest in the moment. They become the sweet ledger of a life beautifully lived ” JennM



Cardinal by JennM

Besos : Kisses

 

if-i-die-in-your-arms-tonight-stefan-kuhn
If I Die in Your Arms Tonight by Stefan Kuhn aka Steve K 

 

Besos

 

Dame un beso,

Mi Ășnica verdadera debilidad … Mi musa,

Para la vida de los deseos,

La estrella mĂĄs allĂĄ de mi alcance,

Una luz que brilla tan brillante …

No hay voz de nada dulce,

Deseosas canciones de un amor tan rico,

Tan llena de vida …

En la oscuridad mĂĄs espesa, he estado esperando Un vistazo de la luz,

Una ardiente concepciĂłn de tu dulce beso, Un dulce recuerdo de lo que he perdido …

 

 

Kisses

Give me a kiss,
My one true weakness… My muse,
For the life of desires,
The star beyond my reach,
A light that shines so bright…
No voice of sweet nothings,
Wishful songs of a love so rich,
So full of life…
In thickest of dark, I’ve been waiting for
A glimpse of light,
A burning conception of your sweet kiss,
A sweet remembrance of what I have missed…

Unnoticed

Source- Pinterest


Unnoticed


You were the one,

To bring so much light…

You were the one,

I longed for through the night…

A pedestal you sat,

Pristine with beauty…

With intriguing awe I stood,

But you failed to notice me…

 

Vacillate Hesitations

 

 

neon_sunset_by_axiomdesign
Neon Sunset by Axiom Design 

 

 Vacillate Hesitations

 

Floating mirrors of reflective lumens,

What flickers of purity in the darkest hours?

Starlet hues entices the aperture of the eye,

Like a hawk captive to its prey…

Biting dilation burningly seduces the eyes to seek,

 

 

 

Angled intrusions of shadowing curiosity,

What lies beneath the hidden surface?

Fear of the unknown crippling each step,

Like sand quickened with water…

Sludging compost cementing each foot,

 

 

 

Eagerness throbs the temple for a look,

What do the eyes reveal?

Unswervingly, the path to change lies ahead,

Pebbled, jagged; difficult in nature…

Forging ahead; overcoming the minds defeat; only leads to the perfected dream… a life so immensely felicitous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When does planning become too much?

 

 

 

Wow, what a day. Just as I think the day was set in stone to be another hectic day; I get relief with the stillness of my lens and my besties… My Yorkie Edward and my mother’s Jasmine aka Jazzy. Today, we had some cancellations which were a huge blessing. This week’s schedule was very hectic although I did manage to hit the trails a couple of times.

As rocky of a relationship my mother and I have; I do enjoy spending time with her these days. I would like to think it is because I’m not that mean of a person to hold on to grudges but in reality; it’s the human compassion I naturally tap into when I see or hear of someone going through struggling times. I mentioned in my last post that this can be such a blessing or it can by my kryptonite. Over obligating myself dry… Well, there is truth in that but today; I realized it’s a balance of sort that I personally need to have.

 

 

You see, as much as I like the notion of having a day with literally nothing to do… I don’t think I’m genetically prone to enjoy it. It’s my nature to have a backup plan for my backup plan …With this being said, I have to plan everything. There needs to be a reason or order to whatever I’m doing…

Which brings me back to my question, “When does planning become too much?” I jokingly laugh to myself as I type tonite because of so many concepts raceing through my mind right now. The balance of planning and going with the flow has been a difficult thing for me to master these days. I want to say it started once I decided to work from home. It’s funny because of a few months back I was very frustrated with the reality of my limited mobility and now… I fell in love with the freedom to pick my own day.  The issue I have bumped into is how it allows time for more distractions to take hold…

 

“Embracing the sun, 

Kissing the wind,

Peals of laughter unfold inspirations from deep within”

– JennM

 

So, after careful thought and consideration; I have decided to use the word “no” more this upcoming week. With the wonderful prospects for new employment opportunities filling me with anticipation; I will not over book myself. I just wrapped up 3 clients today and I have decided to take a break from contacting the new recommendations. I grin at this notion because; this is the hardest for me.  You see, helping others create their bios; or map out their strategic marketing plan or even getting lost in the financials of a local mom and pop business as an effort to help them stay in the green and recoup any losses they have incurred or preventing potential issues; has been solidified as a daily habit.

My day is filled with emails, text, calls all day. When I’m not busy physically doing something; I’m outlining a proposal or catching up on emails etc. So aside, from the scheduled appointments, I already have; I will not be scheduling anything else. The goal is not to eliminate all activity from my day. It’s more of an effort to slow it down enough to find a solution… a balance to work and life. Make an effort for more laughs and more moments of resounding relaxation! Oh, I just pictured a hammock gently rocking in the wind as it dances to distant waves rolling onto the shore… looking around at the walls in my room right now… Yes, relaxation is the key for this next week! I’m not sure what the outcome will be but I do hope that it allows less insomnia filled nights or reducing the constant ticking of to-do lists rolling in my head on a continuous loop… Wish me luck!

 

“Feathered dancers, 

Whistling chimes,

Whimsical flutters, 

Mother Nature’s exquisite design…”

-JennM

 

humming

 

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